Today is pancake day! I don't know why pancake day excites me so, especially as I am not even slightly religious and no longer give anything up for Lent. Much of my life is already spent giving things up; chocolate, cheese, sweets, bread, anything with more then 300 calories, yummy olives drenched in olive oil, cider, beer, any type of sauce, and anything that tastes good. Therefore I am slightly annoyed that people now expect me to give up something else. What could I possibly give up? Satsuma's? Muller Light Yogurts?! Boring olives in Brine?!?!?! No! You will not take away my yogurts! Or my boring olives!
I know Lent is meant to be about Jesus starving himself for 40 days and 40 nights in the desert and being tempted by the Devil, but then previously he was also turning water into wine (I can't drink that), and giving bread (I can't eat that) and fish (if it was battered I can't eat that either) to random Jews, so you know, he obviously wasn't too worried about all the food and wine he was lavishing on people BEFORE he decided to go test himself in the desert. Double standards. Plus I am tempted by the Devil on a daily basis on Campus when I have to queue next to the Bacon Turnovers and Sausage Rolls when waiting to pay for my sushi and Diet Coke, and the gorgeous scent of pastry slavered in cheese and bacon swim into my aching nostrils.
So to sum up, I am not giving up anything for Lent, as I have had to accept over the years that I have to give most things up for life.
Nevertheless tonight I will treat myself. I am going to ring in my birthday with a pancake or four. I hope you too enjoy your pancakes, with whatever filling you wish to spread on them.
P.S I do not mean to offend any person who gives up something for Lent. Nor do I want to offend Jesus, or Jews. I love Jews, they make some of the best films. I'm just jealous of everyone with better metabolism's then I. Damn you Jesus, you're so svelte.
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