Not true.
The last three days were spent working, sleeping and drinking in between, when I got the chance.
Right now my life is very uninteresting as I am on a hiatus from uninteresting things seeing as I am a slave to the wage as of right now. But soon, soon I shall be young and free once more.
Was just browsing through youtube and came across one of my old most favorite clips of one of the greatest people on earth. I love him more then Elvis. You understand?
Oh I just remembered something I wanted to put out there, you know, to the world, to help the people that need help. If you are a. a man, b. drunk, c. on the pull with your unattractive (inside and out) friends, and d. unattractive (inside and out) yourself, then read on. Maybe you'll learn something.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, stand next to two girls sitting in a booth in a pub, and talk loudly about them with your cretin friends while playing 'Deal or No Deal'. Did you know, actually, that girls have ears? They hear things. Things you are saying. Things like this.
"Ahh man, yeah we should so get in there"
"Mate you go first"
"Nah man, you go first"
"Get in there mate"
"Yeah mate, get in there first"
"Which one do you want?"
"Could get a cab home with 'em?"
All the while looking at us with your bleary eyes like "ahh...that'll do, it's getting late afterall".
First of all, if either of you actually got up the courage to speak to a couple of girls, what on earth makes you think that we would go somewhere with you. Why oh why in your tiny little brains is the first and only hurdle actually saying "Fancy a drink?", instead of "Oh no wait, they have dignity enough that they won't fuck us so as to feel loved for the 30 seconds I actually last, if I'm lucky".
Second of all, WE CAN HEAR YOU.
Thirdly, while trying to pull, don't be playing DEAL OR FUCKING NO DEAL. Even if you won the jackpot while standing in front of me, I'd still rather get the 162 in the rain home, alone.
And fourthly, if you want to try and get with someone that actually has standards, try not looking like a Who, from Whoville.
That reminds me of the time when my friend Lisa, after about a year of being one of my best friends, asked me what I meant when I said I had a nose like a Who. Turned out for 12 months she had thought I'd been saying "Jew" and was anti-sametic (which makes me wonder why she would want to be friends with a bigot).
Anyway, my point is, men are fucking idiots. Either the desperate ones are as delusional as they look, or the goodlooking ones are as up themselves as their mothers made them so. Where are all the funny guys who just so happen to wash as well? WHERE ARE THEY? Oh I remember, they realise they are a catch and turn into cocks as well.
Oh I guess I don't believe that, I know there are upstanding gentleman out there, they are just few and far between so it seems. Or fucking other goodlooking, funny men.
Anyway, I'm going out now, huzzuh!
Also, yay it is Friday! Friday Friday Friday. I will probably post again tomorrow, when I wake up, which won't be till very late in the afternoon one hopes.
Also...a very special Will Bateman sort of person is back in the country tomorrow, which means I get to plague him with useless and annoying texts ALL OVER AGAIN. It's gonna be good.
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